A Quiet Contemplation

quick getaway from the daily hustle

It was one fine morning. I was in a train station, having a cup of doppio while waiting for my train. I listened to a meditative music. I was savoring the moment. Enjoying my surroundings. Watching people go by.

Being in the moment more is one of my 2023 resolutions

This year, I set the goals to enter a meditative state for at least 1 minute a day.

This is something that would never happen 5 years ago. At that time, I couldn’t care less about that. Mindfulness didn’t even exist inside my amygdala.

Years after, I finally got the meaning, or more precisely the word.

No matter how hard I was trying to understand this thing, I only got the literal interpretation. And that was:

to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing

I said, “Right, wtf does it mean???”

I also correlated it with meditation. And if I asked myself what does meditation mean. And that was:

being mindful

And I finally understood, “Right, this is not meant for me”

Just go with the flow and just do what you think is right

That’s the most bullsh*t thing I believed back then. Somehow I successfully convinced myself that this is the ultimate way of life.

Everything seemed so easy. If I wanted some things, then I just did it. I rarely took a step back to re-think my choice. Almost every decision I made was very impulsive and reactive. I would get overly emotional and short-tempered easily.

I remembered back then when I was in rage because someone else upset me. A good friend told me to calm down and take a deep breath.

As expected, the suggestion only boosted my rampage, “How tf this deep breath gimmick help?!?”.

She was in a complete shock.

I believed mindfulness is just a trick back then. Yes, it is just another fancy thing to start a conversation on a high tea.

I myself have taken a lot of deep breaths, but nothing happen. “What a lavish bullsh*t!”

At the same year, I also accidentally started a journal

For almost a year-long I was journaling in a daily basis. I think it was at that moment I was unconsciously introduced to a mindful activity. I didn’t really get it at first, I was still thinking that was just a gimmick, not doable nor practical.

However I realized the impact was quite splendid. “How tf I started be more organized person??? How tf I became calmer???”

And then everything started to make sense.

I finally understood that the breathing thing is the true gimmick king, but not the mindfulness. Being mindful is just a simple skill. And like the other skills, it only requires practice to master. And yes, it’s not easy sometimes.

Breathing is merely a tool, just like journaling or performing an extreme yoga pose.

You can be mindful every time and everywhere. While you eat, while you poop, while commuting, etc.

It doesn’t matter what tools you use. The best tools are the ones that fit you.

Be. Here. Now.